[Ep. 409] Surviving to Selling Luxury Real Estate on Sunset with Mary Bonnet

Hello and welcome back to the More Money Podcast.

I’m your host, Jessica Moorhouse, and I’ve got a very special episode for you.

I’m going to be honest, I was maybe 50 percent host, 50 percent fangirl.

Midway, I’m like, wait, this is not a rewatch podcast.

Though I would love to be in a position to do a rewatch podcast of a television show that I am obsessed with.

Who am I talking about?

My next guest is Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet from Selling Sunset.

I know there’s a lot of you out there who are big fans of Selling Sunset that have watched it since season one, and they were already on season eight on Netflix.

And she’s on the show to talk about a little bit of Selling Sunset, because I could not help but ask her what it’s like and what’s going on, what the tea is behind the scenes.

But also she has a book that just came out called Selling Sunshine, Surviving Teenage Motherhood, Thriving in Luxury Real Estate, and Finally Finding My Voice, which I binge read over a weekend and absolutely love it.

Something that you don’t know about me, because I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it, is I love a celebrity memoir.

There probably isn’t one that I haven’t read.

Well, there’s a bunch that I haven’t read, but I love a celebrity memoir.

So when I saw that her book was coming out, I needed to get her on my show because I also knew she had such an interesting story and very finance-based.

There’s so much talk about money in her book.

I needed to have her on my show.

So we pulled a few strings, got her on my show, very exciting.

And yeah, we talk about her financial journey from being a 16-year-old mom and having to financially support herself and put herself through college and work multiple jobs, to, I mean, there’s so much that happened, hence why there’s a memoir, to cutting to several decades later, being in LA and being part of this smash hit reality show about realtors and her selling luxury real estate.

It’s just kind of a crazy journey, so you’re gonna love this episode, and I am gonna be giving away a copy of her book, Selling Sunshine, so listen to the end of this episode to find out how you can enter to win, but we’ve got so much good stuff in this episode.

I don’t wanna keep you any longer, so let’s get to that interview with Mary.

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Welcome, Mary, to the More Money Podcast.

I’m thrilled to have you on the show.

I’m a huge fan.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you for having me.

You’re welcome.

So you have a book that just recently came out called Selling Sunshine, Surviving Teenage Motherhood, Thriving in Luxury Real Estate, and Finally Finding My Voice.

And that really is like the best way to describe everything that goes on in your book.

It really is a roller coaster and it’s amazing.

And I’d say like the overall theme is resilience because you have gone through a ton and come out the other side and that’s not very easy to do.

So bravo to you.

It was really inspiring.

A few things I wanted to mention when I was reading it, I’m like, that is such a weird coincidence.

So you have two sisters named Sarah and Anna, right?

So do I.

Yeah, I have an older sister named Anna and my younger sister is Sarah.

I’m in the middle.

I’m like, that’s weird.

Yeah.

I’ve never.

Mine’s older.

Yeah.

That is so crazy.

I know.

I’m like, I’ve never met anyone with the same spelling and everything.

And I was also raised Catholic and that also-

I was going to ask that because they’re very-

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that also had a big impact.

So lots of the things that you went through as a teenager, I’m like, yeah, that sounds like my teenager, minus me having a kid at your-

but a lot of the Catholic stuff.

But you were better Catholic apparently than I was.

I don’t know.

I guess I just got guilted a lot.

I don’t know.

The guilt was so strong within me.

There was just like, I couldn’t even date until I was 18.

So I was too afraid to even go there.

That is funny.

It’s like they really do.

The guilt, it’s a big thing.

It still affects me even, and I’m not practicing Catholic anymore, but it’s still, it gets a hold of you, and I don’t know about anything I do.

Yeah.

I think that’s probably part of that, and just who you are as a person.

You were always the person on Selling Sunset that I connected the most, also because it always seemed like with all the different people on the show, you always had your head on straight, and you’re like, well, hold on.

Why don’t we, you know, like you were the logical one.

Just bringing everyone down to earth a little bit.

I’m like, yeah, we need someone like that, who’s like, okay, let’s just chill everybody.

You’re still that care.

You’ve been very consistent.

You talk about this in your book.

You’ve been consistent through and through, through all the seasons, whereas not everyone has.

So that’s probably not easy to do, considering there’s so many people involved in the show.

We’re going to get to all that in a bit, but I do kind of want to start with where your story started.

And what I also appreciated being, you know, someone who has a personal finance podcast is your story is very much revolves around money, you know, not having it.

And then eventually coming to the place that you’re doing good finally.

And you did everything you could to make sure you made it work, which is so difficult, but I mean, inspiring.

Let’s start where things kind of start for you.

You were a teenager, a teen mom.

That must have been so scary.

And just even just with the, you know, there’s like that Teen Moms show or the 16 and Pregnant show that I used to watch.

Just because I was curious, like how are they going to afford that?

You know, expensive to have kids?

Like that’s why it’s so walk me through that.

Yeah.

How did I get day by day?

Yeah.

I mean, I guess your parents were pretty supportive.

In the beginning.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, you know, I take them, they’ve always been supportive.

I don’t know about that.

So in the beginning, I still lived with them when I was in high school.

And then I moved out when I was in college.

Well, the first part of college, I was still there.

So they wouldn’t help with anything, any of my bills or anything like that, but I did get to live there.

So that took that off my plate.

But still, I had to pay for college.

I had to pay for all of Austin’s stuff and my stuff and a car and everything to get back and forth.

But I just had to work myself into the ground, basically.

And I just looked at it like, okay, well, this is a short period of time.

Do what you got to do and you’ll be able to pay off.

So I did.

I worked.

I always had a job since I was 15.

But then when I got to college, I had two jobs or three, kind of.

I went to school, like at my classes, and then I would go to my clinical work, and then down in Indianapolis, and then I would also go home.

I’d go pick them up from daycare, take them to a different one, and then go to work at night, go pick them up, like 11 or 12, or something like that, when I got off from the restaurant, and then go home, try to study for a few minutes, and then get up and do it all again.

I mean, that’s wild, because it’s hard enough being a college student working while going to school, and you’re also raising a little human on your own, and you really were completely on your own, no financial support from the father, and really just like, okay, it is what it is, we just have to keep moving forward.

That’s incredible.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think in the first six months, he would bring over like stuff, he’d never give me money, but he would bring over like, like cute little outfits or something like that.

But then, since then, nope.

No, wow.

How old is your son now?

27.

Oh my gosh, that’s crazy.

Isn’t that crazy?

Oh, wow, wow, wow.

I just, I think about my age, because I don’t feel my age, like I’m 44 and I don’t feel like 44.

But then even thinking about my son being 27, I was like, God, I did, I was 27 years ago.

And it’s absolutely insane how fast time goes.

Yeah, no, absolutely.

And no, you don’t seem 44.

Well, I was telling you before I hit record that I was rewatching season one of Selling Sunset.

I think you were 38 at that point when you were filming that.

I’m 38.

I’m like, there’s no way.

The amount of stuff that you’ve experienced in your life and then you got to Selling Sunset and you’re only 38.

I’m like, I have nothing to write in my memoir.

There’s nothing going on.

You know, I always say cats have nine lives.

I’m like, I don’t know what kind of cat I am because I’ve got 29.

And then I started seeing people posting after reading my book.

And they were like, oh my God, you’ve had like 5,000 lives like before.

And I was like, I know, like I really have.

Like I just, you know, but life happens and you got to pick up the pieces, do something different if you don’t like your circumstances, change it.

So that was part of your journey and you finished school, got a job.

At what point did you decide to move to LA, which you probably didn’t know at that point, that was going to be such an important moment, getting your real estate license, trying it there.

How did that go?

Yeah.

I don’t think I elaborated that much on that in the book.

I made the move initially.

I’ve always wanted to live someplace warm.

Indiana is not so warm.

I just wanted more opportunity.

So I thought about moving and then at one point, I was dating this guy for, well, the baseball player.

And I found out that it wasn’t his ex-wife, it was his actual wife.

And he would tell me like that, he was going to go over there, it was really important for him to be around his son.

Like when he goes to bed and wakes up, like he wanted to make sure, like they slept in, like when he would go spend a night over there, they had separate rooms and stuff, but he wanted to make sure while his son was still really young, he was there for him.

I thought that that was just, he’s a good dad.

I was like, I wish Halston had a dad like that.

I get it.

Yeah, no, I don’t know how he pulled it off for so long, because I was in the family section with his parents and his cousins and everything like that.

I was like, how?

How did he pull that up?

Why did they all go along with this?

It was mind-boggling to me.

But so I really, I found out and I was just, I was so-

You found out by seeing his wife on TV during one of his games, and you’re like, how dumb is this guy?

I told him I was going to be watching.

I was like, what in the world?

It was so crazy to me that he was able to pull that off, and I was that dumb that I believed him.

But I wanted to believe the best in them and stuff.

But it all works out the way it should.

I just basically decided right then, I was like, I’m done here.

I’m done, and it hit me so hard, and it hurt me so bad that I was just like, I’m making a fresh start.

I decided to come to LA.

My mom did, my aunt and my mom helped with Austin while I came out and I looked at places, found schools and stuff like that, decided where we wanted to be.

But yeah, that’s where I moved.

And was that when you first moved to LA, was that when you met Amanda or was it later?

And she’s like, I didn’t realize how pivotal she was to, again, how all of the real estate selling sunsets, like that’s kind of wild.

You’re like, you didn’t realize you met her that long ago.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was, I think probably within six months of me moving to LA.

Wow, you met her.

And then, while you were there, just to kind of catch people up, though it’s all in your book, which is incredible.

Again, I like binged it over a weekend.

It was just a really great read.

You met your first husband, and then later you met your second husband.

Then you lived in London for a bit.

Like you really were everywhere.

But I want to kind of, and during that, a lot of hardship, a lot of, again, overcoming some really tough situations while trying to, again, protect yourself, protect your kid and everything like that.

Eventually, you get, when did you move back to LA once you left that second husband and that kind of toxic situation?

After London, I went to Arizona for a couple months, and then I went to, I did not like Arizona, but Austin was there because I went back there, but he was going to college and stuff, and so I ended up getting a job in New York.

That’s right, you lived in New York for a bit, I forgot.

Yeah, in New York, and then Jason and I flew back for my birthday.

Amanda was dating Taye Diggs at the time, and so he flew me back as a birthday present, and yeah, I got reconnected with Jason.

That’s right, and you were dating Jason?

Yeah, that’s why you moved to LA again, Jason.

Oh yeah, I forgot that you guys dated.

Yeah, it was like a million years ago, right?

That was, again, what a key relationship that, you were not meant to be romantically involved at all, but what a great friendship.

And then because he was starting his real estate company, you kind of got in there and then started, I think, what you were always meant to do, which was your real estate career, living in the city that you were meant to be in, and just kind of, is that kind of what you felt like when you were in that situation?

And you’re like, I think this is where I’m supposed to be.

I knew that I love moving around, I love trying new things, but I’ve done it and I know I’m supposed to be here.

And then same thing, it’s like sometimes you just know something and it’s like, you don’t know why, but you just know it.

And I felt like that with Jason.

And I remember my sister just like, what is wrong with you?

She’s like, why are you putting yourself through this?

Because when we broke up, I was like, I can’t explain it.

He’s supposed to be in my life.

And she’s like, it’s torture for you.

I was like, it’s fine.

He’s supposed to be in my life.

And I couldn’t explain it.

It’s just, and he was the same way though, where even when he would break up, then he’d call me a week later, he’s like, can we hang out?

Can we do this?

And I was like, stop messing with my head.

I was like, what are you doing?

But I knew, I was like, but yeah.

And so we have always needed to be around each other.

And there’s something I’m doing with one, actually one of my ex-boyfriends too.

But he’s like a good friend now and he’s an OBGYN.

I’m on the board of directors for the Women’s Health Organization.

And we’re supposed to like, we’re trying to research for research and for outreach programs and do all these things.

And I felt like that with him too, where it’s like we don’t have to be together.

It’s like we’re amazing friends, but he is supposed to be in my life.

And I think when I look at it and I’m talking to you, I think it’s just not normal.

I was like, I think because raising awareness for all these things and helping other women like not go through the things I’ve had to go through with my fertility and just using my platform, forget to help other women like that.

And so I was like, some people are just, you don’t know why that you’re just drawn to each other and you need them in your life, but there’s a purpose for it.

And ultimately what it led to is not only, I think even if Selling Sunset didn’t exist, I think you’d still be very successful in real estate.

Like that’s a no-brainer, but this show came about and what the first season was in like 2019, I think that’s when it aired, I think it was before COVID.

Yeah, it was before, I think it was 2017 maybe?

No, I mean, 2018 because Romina and I got married, our wedding was in 2019 and that was season two.

That’s right.

Okay, great.

And so when this came about, this opportunity to have this reality show, which there’s good things, bad things, there’s good reality shows, there’s ones that make you look terrible and you’re like, but I’m a nice person.

What were your thoughts about, oh, like I never thought I’d have a career, because you never thought you would have a career in acting or being on screen.

That was never ever in your mind.

No, never.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I mean, honestly, when I started this, I thought I’d only have to do like four of these.

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I didn’t know what would come of it, honestly.

I guess I just figured out I’m going to go for it.

I mean, it’s the way I live my life.

If I don’t like it, if it doesn’t work, I can quit.

But the one thing I was scared of was that I did start establishing myself in this new area in real estate, and I just didn’t want it to hurt my reputation, or it would make me look terrible and I would lose my clients or something like that.

But on the flip side, it could catapult me to a different level.

I was like, all right, let’s give it a shot.

Well, we didn’t really know what the show is going to be about other than women in real estate.

Because it’s easy for people to come on the show now because they see it.

But for us, we were just going in there just blind.

And so we didn’t really know what to expect.

We didn’t know how to act.

And yeah, it was hard.

It took some time to get used to it.

Did it affect your real estate?

Yeah, I’m curious because there’s always like, especially with the later seasons where it’s very cinematic.

It feels like you’re watching something really grand and the outfits are outrageous.

You’re like, I can’t even imagine sitting in that outfit at a desk.

You know, and some of them are just like outrageous, but they’re beautiful.

But you know, you wonder, is anyone actually selling real estate?

I know you are because you’re always coming up in the arts like Mary does.

I don’t know about anybody else.

But I’m curious, what was the impact on the real estate side?

Because I’m sure in the back of your mind, you’re like, listen, I don’t know how long this show will last.

We, nothing’s guaranteed.

I want to make sure that I’ve got this always in my back pocket.

Yeah.

I think at the beginning, it started off where it really helped.

But over, I would say it’s probably a combination of the show and then just a crappy market.

But I have had, there’s other agents that are just like, they’re haters and they’re jealous about the business, how much business we get.

I’ve actually lost some listings because of the other girls’ behavior.

I’m like, I did not do-

I didn’t do that.

They did that.

I know.

They’re like, no, that’s not a good look.

We don’t want to be involved.

Then like Chris Shell accusing Nicole Ming on drugs, so then some of the thing he’s like, no, look, all of them are-

all they do is go out and party, go to events and stuff.

They’re not actual agents, and they try to use stuff against us.

I was like, oh my gosh.

I mean, it’s so crazy.

It’s a great opportunity and I’ve worked so hard to build my business, to maintain my reputation, to keep my mouth shut when other girls are lashing out.

So this doesn’t happen and it doesn’t always happen.

I still get plenty of clients and stuff like that.

But on those occasions, I’m like, that is not cool.

I mean, you get judged by who you hang out with and stuff.

And I love all the girls, but it makes me frustrated sometimes, like that their actions can affect me, like in my business.

So it’s pretty frustrating sometimes, but there’s still a lot of good that comes from it.

Yeah.

I mean, you were now known globally, which I assume is a great way to attract new clients or people that, oh, I wonder if she’s selling something, she can hook me up.

So that’s definitely something that most people can’t do, not having a big global TV show.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

It’s definitely opened the door to a lot of my European clients and people wanting to get a second home in LA and stuff like that.

Then they’ll give me a call.

So yeah.

It’s pretty fancy.

Yeah.

So we can see where you’re at now, which is like, I’m so proud of you, especially knowing your full story from reading your book.

It’s amazing to see where you’re at.

I mean, you’re living in LA and everything looks beautiful and glamorous.

And it’s just like, yeah, that’s kind of the dream.

But I’m curious, like kind of with the financial side of things, because there were lots of times where you didn’t have enough, you didn’t or there was the time with the second husband or you went bankrupt, or there are some situations going on there.

What were some of the lessons about money that you’ve learned throughout your journey?

Sometimes you have to work three jobs, sometimes you thought you could depend on someone and you couldn’t, you messed you up and messed up your credit.

What did you want to make sure that, okay, now I’m in LA, I’ve got this fresh start once again, this is what I’m going to do differently?

Yeah.

After my second ex-husband, I’m never making those mistakes.

I’m never allowing somebody else to have control over my situation.

I work so hard, if I’m building up my credit, I’m trying to build everything back again, I’m not allowing someone to take it away.

When Romaine and I got married, I got a prenup before, and I didn’t even have that much back then.

Still, you’re like, I’m not taking any chances.

I was like, I will have this, even if it’s from my own piece of mind.

Romaine is not that person, and he was like, sure, I’ll send it out there.

He’s not that person, and we keep separate finances too.

I have separate bank accounts.

We only have one joint thing, just for debt is only for tax purposes, whatever.

But other than that, I don’t want anybody having control or being able to do that again.

I won’t ever put myself in that situation again.

It sucks.

I’ve struggled most of my life, and I’ve built something, and I’ll be damned if someone’s going to take it from me.

I’m like, yeah.

I keep separate stuff, but I also have what my friends call a money twitch, and it’s like a legit twitch.

When something happens or something’s so expensive, or it’s like a ridiculous expense, and I think it gets me a money twitch, I’m like, okay.

I feel like literally twitching, because it’s just such a sense of subject for me.

And so I just don’t want anybody spending money, I think.

I mean, it makes sense from your life experience and what all the things that have happened in your life that you’re like, I don’t, yeah, you’re probably very like, I would assume, again, having similar backgrounds a little bit that you’re probably very careful with your money.

And that’s one thing that I wonder, it’s like, how do you make sure that you are like, I’m gonna make sure that, okay, this time I’m in a really great financial position, I’m not screwing this up, I’m not gonna let anyone take my money.

When you live in LA, everything’s so expensive, and especially with the show, it’s very much like spending money, flashy things.

How do you kind of stay grounded?

I’m very frugal with a lot of stuff.

I just don’t need a lot more.

I don’t know.

I don’t ever want to be in that position again.

So I just don’t feel the need to show off or try to afford something that it’s just not a smart purchase or something.

Because I’m like, I don’t know.

I always think, in the back of my head, that means, what else could I buy with that amount of money?

What else can I do with that money?

If there’s a big purchase and I really, really want it, I have to really, really want it.

Even for a purse or something, or if there’s an outfit, designer outfit, I’m like, nope, I won’t buy any designer outfit because it goes out of style so fast.

I’ll do a jacket, I’ll do a purse or shoes.

But I’m like, no, because you can only wear it once every-

Well, I was even wondering, when you’re on show and you’re wearing these outfits, I’m like, you can never wear that again because we’ve seen it.

So I’m hoping these people are renting it or something or they’re getting it borrowed because I don’t want to know how much those things cost.

Well, you don’t normally don’t see me in too many of them, but I do buy designer stuff, but I have to rationalize it.

I’m just, I’m not going to throw that money away.

It has like with a bag, you can throw it every day.

So that’s a smarter purchase for me.

Shoes, you can wear multiple times a week, and that’s a fair purchase.

A shirt?

Nope.

So I will not be spending that money on it, whatever.

So there’s just small things like that.

And then anytime I can, because I always look at things like with collabs and stuff like that being in my position.

I’m like, if it’s mutually beneficial, like for both of us, even if it’s not like a paid club, it was like, okay, want to go stay in a hotel or something like that.

It was like, do you want me to tag and stuff and you can be like a better deal or like I can stay like for like a media rate or something.

And then I’ll tag you on it and get attention to where about your hotel or something.

I do that with almost everything.

I’m like, I know because I’m like, why not?

I’m not going to have this platform forever.

And it helps them and helps me.

And you get a deal.

Yeah.

Who doesn’t have a deal?

And especially as a realtor, of course you have a deal.

I’m like, yeah, I just, I do it with everything because I’m like, I’m not going, I’m never going back there.

I’m never going to get into the situation again.

So I’m going to try to make smarter decisions.

That’s, I mean, that’s good because we see a lot of people who become reality stars, or even like sports stars, young people that get into like football, and then 10 years later, they’re broke.

And it’s, I always just want to like yell through the screen, oh my God, I hope you’re investing.

I hope you’re doing something smart with your money.

So I’m curious, what are you doing besides, you know, paying attention to where you’re spending?

What are you doing to make sure we’re maintaining this money?

It’s not going to go anywhere.

Yeah, I’ve got multiple accounts, like stocks and money markets to try to earn higher interest rates and stuff on the money there.

I’m also paying down with my house.

I make the extra payments for it.

Yeah, because I was like, it saves a lot on your interest and stuff like what you’re paying.

So I make a couple extra payments year on that.

Do you have a ritual or how do you keep things organized?

Once a month, you go through everything or is it just kind of?

Everything’s on auto pay.

Everything’s on auto pay because I’m way too busy and I cannot have one late payment.

Everything back up and with the bankruptcy, I had 815, I think credit score.

It was like 815, 920.

It dropped down below 500 when I came back to the States and I found out what had happened.

Just to clarify, do you want to explain what happened?

How did you get into that situation of bankruptcy?

Yeah.

My ex-husband had, when we were in London, had pulled out credit cards.

My name ran them up and I didn’t know about it because there was no forwarding address and they have a completely different credit system over there.

When I came back, I thought that it was still the way I left it, and I went to go get a car because I was starting over, and it was a very long road to start over because it was under 500.

I couldn’t get a car loan on my own, and my stepdad had to co-sign for me because it was so low.

And yeah, all of the accounts were already in collections, and so I tried to hold off and just start paying things off and stuff as much as I could, but I came back with absolutely nothing.

Like he had all this stuff, so it was so hard to do.

And then after a couple of years, I was like, I just, I have to get this back on track.

I can’t do anything without good credit.

And so, and I was just, I talked to some financial people, credit people asking what to do, and they were like, honestly, it might be, it’s going to be faster if you just file bankruptcy.

They suggested I do that, and it was a huge hit to my ego.

But because I was just like, I’m not going to suffer for what he did.

But at the end of the day, that’s what I was already suffering.

I needed to fix it and fix it fast, and there was no way I was able to pay all of that off.

Like, it was just-

Was it, like, how much was it?

Like, are we talking like six figures or?

It was almost 100,000, yeah.

Yeah, it was right around 100,000.

So, I mean, that’s it.

And now looking at it, I mean, it wouldn’t be as big of a deal.

Now it’s just pay that off.

But it would stack, but it wouldn’t be around.

But I could do it.

I mean, you know, I’m gonna do it.

But then I was, like, coming back with, like, no money.

It’s like I didn’t even know how to even…

I had nothing, like nothing.

And so that was, like, a pipe dream, like, to be able to pay it off.

Like, I was like, okay, I’m going to do it, though.

I’m going to find a way.

But sometimes you have to cut your losses, start over.

Do it the right way and just get a clean slate.

And so after you did the bankruptcy, how long did it take you to kind of get back on track, get that good credit?

I imagine several years.

Yeah, absolutely.

It takes a very, very long time getting…

Starting with new credit is so much easier.

Romaine came over, had nothing, and hey, he was all automatic.

He’s got amazing credit, but he has no negatives.

Instead of the bankruptcy, stay on for a long time.

It took a very long, long time.

I think I’m up to 750 or something now, but I refuse to stop until I get back up to where I was.

I’m like, no, I’m getting back there.

That’s what I earned it before, and I’m going to earn it again.

I love how transparent you are.

I think that’s so great.

Thanks for sharing your credit score.

I’m going to talk about something else, don’t I?

So I was like, what’s my credit score?

Yeah.

So one thing you talk about in the book, and I bet this has, I’m not sure if you kind of realize this, but you probably have that you have ADHD.

There’s a lot of data research that shows that there’s a really big connection between money and ADHD and how that can have a really big impact on spending.

It sounds like in general though, you’ve been pretty good at managing your money, but I’m curious, have you felt at any times that it has your ADHD impacted the way you earn money or spend money or think about money or your career in general?

I guess I’ve never associated it with money, but now that you say that, I don’t take my adderall when I’m on vacation normally.

And that is when I take them whenever we go to Vegas or something like that.

I was like, that is when I’m like, that was so unlike me.

I would buy some, I would actually go shopping.

I hate shopping though.

So I just don’t enjoy it.

But then when I…

So that might actually be…

I kind of agree with that because…

Yeah, there’s literally a whole subculture that’s about finance and ADHD and how people are like, oh, I just discovered I have ADHD.

That probably makes a lot of sense to why I keep on getting into debt or can never get to control my spending or I’ve never been able to stick to a budget.

It’s because obviously that would influence how you do that.

I guess I don’t really think it’s bothered like affected me as much as like maybe some other people.

I have like my own quirks and stuff like from it and that I really, really struggle with.

But I don’t think that’s part of it probably because I just have everything I’ve been through where it’s like, it’s just in me now from how much I’ve struggled to just live, really.

So I think that’s just ingrained in me now.

I would never, it always makes me nauseous to think about spending money that I don’t have.

I physically feel sick.

I get that.

I really do.

I’m curious because what that sounds like to me, and again, I have a book coming out that’s very much about the inner workings of our relationship with money.

Part of it is the scarcity versus abundance.

A lot of people come from poverty or have had a lot of experiences with just didn’t have money or went through bankruptcy, and they have these really negative associations with money, or it’s very fear-based or shame-based.

It’s very hard for them to go from a place of scarcity, of just like, I just want to make sure I keep what I have, to then shifting to the mind of, but we can get more, we can do better than just having just enough.

So it seems like you have maybe found the balance, like you’re still like, you’ve got that kind of thing.

Okay, we want to make sure we’re not spending too much, but you’ve also been able to build an incredible career in luxury real estate, which is so, like that’s so much money.

How were you able to kind of, yeah, kind of balance both?

Well, I think just kind of budgeting in a way, like because real estate goes up and down, and for the last two years, it has not been great.

And so I think in my head, I’m probably going to sound so crazy, but in my head, I’ve even considered, like, because the market is down right now, like during COVID, I’ve made so much money, but it’s just lower.

So I’m like, okay, well, now I need to think this through.

Like in my head, I play out all these things.

I’m like, okay, well, I don’t actually drive that much.

So maybe I should just swap my car out, because I don’t need to be paying this.

Like think, I love my car, but I go through these things, like where I’m like, okay, what do I need?

What do I do?

Like, let’s think it through.

Like if it lasts another year or two, do I really want to be spending all this money on that?

Can I afford to do it?

Of course, I can keep it.

But that’s just how my mind works.

Yeah.

You’re like, if we’re in another worst-case scenario, because you’ve been in those situations before, what’s plan A, B, and C?

Yeah.

So I’m always thinking about these different things that I’ve even gotten.

I was like, okay, wait, how much is my car worth now?

Just so I know what it is.

I’m just like that now, because I always have to have a plan, I guess, when it comes to my finances.

I’ll look through things.

I’m like, that is way too much.

I don’t need to spend that much money on something, or even with all the subscriptions on my TV and stuff.

I’m not home hardly ever to watch TV.

Well, I’m home.

I just don’t watch TV that much.

I’m like, why am I paying for like 10 different streaming services and all these things?

I was like, I don’t need that.

Let’s cancel this one.

Let’s cancel this one.

And I just can’t stand to spend money that’s being thrown away.

I love that.

I feel like you’re probably the only person in LA who’s probably…

Well, you know, there’s a few, I’m sure.

But it really does seem, especially on your show, you just see just money being thrown around.

And you have no context for like, how much money does this person have if they’re buying a $20 million house?

But sometimes you’re like, my God, I hope they can afford the property taxes.

Have you thought about the taxes?

Oh, my God.

That’s what I know.

Property taxes are nuts.

Speaking of real estate, I kind of want to chat a little bit about that, because, yeah, it’s such a fascinating area.

And I love watching real estate shows because it’s like, it’s just talking about money.

And it has like there were the pretty bicy, exciting years in real estate.

I guess that’d be like 2020, 2021.

And then interest rates started going up and it’s been kind of down.

We’re starting to see interest rate shift.

That was such a good time, wasn’t it?

Oh my God.

It was, well, I know.

I bought my, we sold our townhouse in Toronto and bought our house at the peak.

We’re okay.

Cause like we sold it for a really great profit.

It literally doubled in like five years, but then we also bought our house at the peak.

So it’s okay.

We have a plan, just like you, like, I’ve got a plan.

We can afford a house.

We’re going to stay here for at least 10 years.

So we can build that equity, all that kind of stuff.

But it’s been an interesting time to see real estate.

What, you know, yeah.

How has the market been, especially luxury?

Like, I guess that’s a very different thing than just regular residential for most regular people.

Yeah.

The luxury market.

Well, it’s taken a big hit in LA.

Yeah.

I mean, we’re always very, overall, we’re kind of in a bubble and stable like overall, like in the big picture.

But right now, it’s like with the city and the county and everything, it’s just, things have just been put into place that are very poorly thought out.

Are you talking about like the luxury tax and stuff?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Then with the interest rates and the luxury tax and everything, it is really affected the market.

Until that gets overturned, it’s going to be, I mean, it’s taken a hit, for sure.

Because it just makes no sense for people to sell their property.

It makes no sense for developers to come in and try to flip it, because they don’t have enough profit.

And then building materials, the prices are higher.

And so with all of these things coming in, all combined, it’s made it quite difficult.

What do you think, what if things, I mean, I know things will rebound, they always do, but what’s your plan B for like, oh, okay, well, maybe LA isn’t the place to be.

Have you ever considered doing another market or something like that?

I know some people are like, oh, maybe I’ll sell in Texas or something like that.

I would love to go down to OC.

I would love to see you on OC also.

I feel like it needs someone like you.

I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle it.

It’s hard enough in my office.

I don’t know.

I mean, I’m actually friends with some of the girls, but just being, actually with all of them.

But being in that office and dealing with that drama on the show.

It seems like a lot of drama and it’s almost confusing drama.

I don’t actually know what’s going on.

OC is such a beautiful place.

It’s so clean and so just relaxing.

So I was told Romaine, if we ever did start a family, I would love to move down there.

Once the show’s over and stuff like that, then I would seriously consider it.

But now the market down there, because everyone’s moving out of LA because of all this, going down to OC, and so the prices there are out of control.

Speaking of Romaine, I know there’s a part of your book that said you had the idea, and it sounded like if the show ends or comes to its natural end, you and Romaine, it would be cool to do some show together, where you flip or build places.

I would love to see that.

I love a flip show, and I think you guys would do that so well together.

Have you guys done any real estate together?

Have you flipped a place before or?

We were trying to decide what to do on that.

We ended up getting this place, because we both loved it.

I thought that there was nothing that was going to need to be done to it.

Well, there wasn’t, but there’s things I decided I wanted done to it.

But it’s been really eye-opening to see how much these cost, where we can do it on our own timeline.

I can get a better idea before jumping in being like, okay, now we’re sitting on this much and it has to be done, because Remain still works a full-time job, so either he has to stop working to do that full-time to flip it.

But right now, we’re both have just been too busy.

Until we find an amazing property, that would be a good flip for us.

I would want to start small first too, to make sure I’m not getting it over my head.

So I’m just very logical about everything.

Yeah, no, that makes sense because sometimes I watch these real estate shows and then they get to the point where like, so what do you think this place is worth?

And the realtors like, it’s 13 million.

They’re like, really?

Because I put 20 into it.

And you’re like, didn’t you think about price before putting all the finishes in and doing it?

Why did you put all this stuff that’s so expensive when you know you can’t get it?

It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Absolutely.

That’s why I really want to like, I have to think it through because that, I mean, that could be, we could really lose our ass on that.

And I don’t ever want to do that.

So when we redid our kitchen, I wanted all the different color schemes up throughout the house.

So I turned all the dark stuff and making it very, like very comes in kind of vibes I can hear.

And so that the kitchen, I thought would be a very fun project for us to do together.

Ooh, that was a lot.

And it was very time consuming, especially when like still working, like filming and being an agent and writing my book and doing presents.

I mean, it was a lot, but then just the amount of time for one panel was just like, okay, this is something when we flip, we’re subbing that out.

Someone else is doing it because this is not a good use of our time.

We’ll have someone else do that, lesson learned.

And then, so I think I’m just like getting a feel for it, waiting for the market to find the right property.

I’m curious, like, because I guess you filmed, when did you film the latest season?

But I just felt like there wasn’t that much real estate.

I’m like, is it because the market was kind of crap?

Because it really wasn’t going much on the market, maybe?

I feel like we had quite a few really nice homes, but I can’t even remember what was on this season anymore.

I feel like it was very, like it was like 80 percent drama, 20 percent homes, which is fine.

Hey, I watched, everyone watched is fine.

Well, yeah, I would like a little more real estate, but that’s just me.

I like the deal and all that kind of stuff.

I think that’s the exciting part.

I know.

I wish that they would get back to that.

I really do.

How much say do you have in the show?

Because I know you’re not a producer, so you just have to show up and do.

How do they know what is going to happen?

They don’t.

They just film a bunch.

We film so much more than what you guys see.

Yeah.

I know because it almost seems like there’s only like, it’s so condensed and you’re like, how long is this timeline?

It seems like it’s over a month or something.

No.

It’s about four and a half months for one season, and then we go back and do pickups and the confessionals and stuff like that.

How long are you off after filming?

Well, this is the first year that we’ve ever been able to.

After season eight, we got three months off and we’re going to start filming again.

But I didn’t really get off because I was using it all the time with my book.

But before, we would go back to back two seasons.

It was almost nine months.

We would go back to back and only get two weeks off in between.

Yeah.

That’s actually surprising.

I don’t think most people would know that.

We were exhausted by the end.

So was production.

I think that when you’re filming and working that much, there’s not a chance for anything to go on in your life, for anything to develop.

Finally, they got it where they were like, okay, we need to give everybody a break, and we’re going to just split it up a little bit differently now.

Thank God.

Yeah, you need some time to breathe and have something happen.

Because I mean, that’s likely why the show’s kind of feeling taken the route where it’s like a lot of a lot more office drama, probably because you’re just only seeing your workmates every day.

And so I’m like, yeah, if I was in that situation, I would be like having fights with my colleagues all the time, because I’d be like, I’m so sick of seeing your face.

I heard and just like worn out.

It’s like you just don’t have the patience anymore.

And so you just kind of like get snappy and whatever.

So yeah, but they also they also added it down to just like that what they consider the most entertaining parts or something.

But there’s a lot of stuff that we filmed.

It’s really funny and just like and like different stuff.

And then it depends what happens.

It was one of us like this year with Chelsea getting divorced, like a lot of all that fun and happy scenes that we did are all about cut.

Yeah, it did seem kind of a darker season a little bit, like a lot of like your dog passed away, which was so sad.

And there was the funeral and then there was the divorce.

And you’re like, yeah, I feel like there needs to be a little bit more fun.

Yeah, happiness and stuff.

Every season, I push for that.

I’m like, we like actually hang out like Jason, Brad, Romaine and I, you know, all the time.

And then we’ll like whenever some of the other girls and stuff, not all of us like hang out all together, but we do really fun stuff when we go like, and it’s funny and lighthearted and stuff like that.

It’s like, I always want to push for that.

Was there anything that’s made it into the show that you were surprised?

Like you watched back, you’re like, oh, I didn’t remember I said that, or oh, they cut that like that.

I didn’t see that coming.

Yes.

There was, I mean, there’s a lot that I don’t remember that I say.

I’m like, huh, that’s interesting.

I was like, I don’t even remember that.

But I would say this season, I did not, in my head, I did not remember that how dramatic, I guess, the scene was with and what actually happened in that, like what the man’s at, me, Nicole, and Alana, like when Nicole makes an accusation against Emma.

And I was like, I legit did not know what they were talking about.

And then because it was such a small thing that was said in kind of my passing and but by the other person.

And I was like, what are you talking about?

Because that wasn’t what she was saying.

Like it was two different things and it was like it didn’t make sense to me.

And then when they were like saying that, I was like, what, what did you, like, okay.

But then even in my head, when I watched the show, I was like, oh God, that was a lot bigger of a scene than I remember.

Because I think I was just confused in my head.

And then I remember Amanda saying, don’t do it.

And I told her, I was like, like you’re going to, you don’t want to do this, you really don’t.

But that’s where, and then I watched it, I was like, oh, that was way more dramatic.

And when I spoke to Emma about it, she was like, what happened?

I was like, I don’t really think that there was, cause this is all on camera.

I was like, I don’t think that she actually even said something.

Cause I just remember Amanda and I saying, no, don’t, don’t, don’t talk about anything like that.

Cause it wasn’t even a big deal.

And then I watched it, I was like, ooh, yeah, okay.

Yeah, for anyone listening who hasn’t watched Selling Sunset, what we’re talking about is Nicole.

I know I’m like talking to you guys, if like we’re just doing a rewatch podcast now.

It’s just that Nicole eluded that Emma was like cheating or was the other woman or something like that, which no, it was just a rumor that she heard.

And I’m like, you know, you shouldn’t, you’re not coming off great.

You didn’t come off great last season.

Like I always kind of wondered too, like don’t you, but I don’t know.

I don’t know, you know, people make certain, you know, you talked a lot about Christine in your book and just watching the first season again, she really did come off like, oh, she’s kind of spicy, but fun and seems nice.

And she had like nice moments with Chrichelle where they cried at the bar and then, oh, we should be friends.

And then she just like turned left on season two.

And you’re like, what happened?

Is that kind of part of it?

You kind of alluded to it in your book that some people change fame, money, it changes people.

You have always been like, this is my path and I want to maintain my consistency in who I am.

But have you seen a lot of changes with certain people?

And just like, yeah, I guess fame and money, it does kind of affect people in different ways.

It does, yeah.

I see a lot of people change from it.

I mean, not everybody is as dramatic of a change as like Christy, but I mean, it changes everybody and that’s normal too.

But what I think it does is it exaggerates everyone’s, like your worst qualities or your insecurities, it exacts them.

So because then, yeah, I just think it doesn’t necessarily change you completely, but it does exaggerate them where you can just really almost become like someone unrecognizable, really.

Yeah.

And it sounds like for you, you have a very clear idea of, this is what I want my relationship with money to be.

This is what money means to be in my life.

It’s I want stability, security.

I want to thrive.

I want to have a good life for myself because you haven’t always had that.

What from talking, I don’t know if you talk about money at all with any of your colleagues or anything like that, but do you get a sense of like, they have different ideas of money?

And I guess it is what it is, but.

I don’t really talk to anybody about it, but no.

No one talks about money in the office?

I guess that would be kind of weird.

I’ll ask Jason for like advice and stuff on things.

And yeah, I’ll talk to him about it, but I don’t get into anybody else’s business when it comes to money.

Yeah, it’s none of your business.

Fair enough.

I mean, that’s kind of like your role to it see in the show, not my business.

And yeah, that’s how you stay out of trouble.

And I completely agree with that.

I mean, if they want to ask me a question or if they want to tell me something, great.

But if not, I’m like, yeah, I just kind of stay in my own lane.

Yeah.

And so the last kind of thing I want to chat about, because I’m sure lots of people are curious, is like, so you’re part of this show, and this has obviously helped you not only with your real estate career, but also it pays you, hopefully.

I mean, I assume you wouldn’t do this for free.

And then it gives you a larger kind of platform that you can do some really great philanthropy and highlight some really great organizations, and also you can make some money.

And I’m curious, how has that changed you just realizing, oh, there’s a bigger kind of world, there’s more opportunity out there.

And again, also, I’m sure in the back of your mind, you’re like, but I don’t know how long it’ll last.

So I’ll, you know, but I’m curious, how did that, that must’ve been such an interesting shift of like, I’m not just earning real estate money, now there’s other opportunities.

How do I utilize this?

I think it’s constantly shifting because like with collaborations and stuff like that, like paid ones, it was much better a couple years ago too, because, but now they, like everyone’s going into micro influencers.

And I’m like, man, I mean, that’s not me.

I have my hands in everything.

So, so, but, you know, I keep coming up with ideas on, on things that like I’m interested in, things that are organic, things that I would love to do and be a part of, because I think that’s how you kind of build an empire.

And, and so I guess like if it doesn’t work, okay, I tried.

But I just kind of keep thinking about opportunities that would make me happy, would make money, and it makes sense that I can add on to my real estate business while I have this platform.

So, yeah, my brain is always going, that my, my ADD’s got me, like it’s, there’s about a thousand thoughts in here for every one I think someone else has.

Like, I mean, cause it’s just like constantly, and there’s so much going on in this crazy brain.

So, there’s always ideas, and then I have to like, like think them through, think what’s like, like, okay, what’s going to be beneficial?

And then, yeah, but I’ve got a couple of things in the works right now, too.

Ooh, anything you can share or not quite yet, they’re still just at the early kind of ideation stage.

I don’t know, I’m looking at it.

I don’t know, I’m doing a, I’m obsessed with sunglasses.

And I, again, like how instead of spending money, make money, and that’s one I-

Yeah, make your own sunglasses.

That’s what I’m doing.

So I’m designing, I’m spending a lot of time, a lot of energy, but it’s fun, it’s creative, and it’s a really cool process.

And then I can wear my own and sell my own, make money on it, then buy them.

And wear them during the next season of Selling Sunset and name drop it so people can buy it.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I’m, yeah, I think it’s been really fun.

And yeah, we’ll see what else happens.

There’s one other thing that’s on my, from Romaine and I, that’s on our future.

So I can’t talk about that one yet, but.

Okay.

We’ll just look out for it on your Instagram whenever you announce it.

Well, before I let you go, one kind of question I want since your journey really did start at 15 when you got pregnant and then you had your son at 16.

Now you’re in your 40s and living a life that you probably did not expect.

What would you say to your younger self that, you know, either as like some advice or, you know, something that you wish your older self could have told you?

Well, I actually have that in my book, that letter to my 15-year-old self.

Oh my God, I cry every time I read it.

It makes me so proud and just emotional.

But well, first of all, I would say don’t marry my second-born.

Do not share finances.

Do not marry him.

But no, I think just keep your head up through everything and just be very, very careful with the money.

Don’t trust anybody else.

You can only trust yourself when it comes to that.

And just buy it when things go wrong.

Just pick the pieces up the best you can and keep pushing forward.

It’ll all turn out.

It’ll all turn out.

And yeah, like you really did, again, like I said, the theme of this book, I felt was really much that of resilience and never giving up.

And you never, what I loved is I felt like you were humble throughout.

You’re very, I’d say a pretty humble person.

You’re like, this is who I am.

You never, like when you’re like, yeah, I had to work at some restaurants and I was in my 30s and I just had to do what I needed to do to make a living or be a bartender.

You never felt like you were too good for anything.

And I think that’s really important because it’s like we, life is long.

We all have certain stages in our life that we’re like, oh, I can’t wait to be out of this stage.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I think it’s working at Hooters when I didn’t have no boobs too, like because there were better tips there.

And I was like, okay, well, that girl’s got to eat and feed myself.

I was like, I mean, it’s still just waitressing, but I was like, all right, fine.

I was so full of my chest did or that, like nothing of those like, whatever.

I don’t care.

I got to feed my kid.

Yeah, you got to feed your kid.

And I bet too, when you look at everything that you’ve done, you’re like, you know what, you probably brought a lot of skills.

And that’s why again, you’re so successful in all of the little things that you did along the way that makes you so good at what you do today.

Yeah, I think part of it is compassion and stuff too.

Really actually, if you can relate to things and relate the fear for some homebuyers and stuff, and the fear of spending that much money, and their reactions.

If you actually lived life and you have had things like this, if you’ve had the fear, if you’ve bought something, and relationship with money and moving, and in real estate, it’s always ups and downs.

It’s like either you get married, you’re having a baby or divorce, like job loss, relocation, whatever, but it’s a stressful time for people.

If you can relate to your clients on any of those levels, it’s going to help.

Absolutely.

Well, thank you so much, Mary, for coming on the show.

Honestly, this was so exciting because I’m such a huge fan.

Where can people find you if they want to follow you and grab a copy of your book, Selling Sunshine?

Yeah.

So, the Mary Bonnet is my Instagram and my TikTok, and you can find Selling Sunshine, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or in the bio on my IG.

Perfect.

Amazing.

Well, thank you so much, Mary, for taking the time to come on the show.

That was my interview with Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet.

You can grab her book.

It’s on shelves now, Selling Sunshine, Surviving Teenage Motherhood, Thriving in Luxury Real Estate, and finally, Finding My Voice.

Grab a copy.

You can also follow her on Instagram and TikTok, at the Mary Bonnet.

That’s B-O-N-N-E-T.

If you want to check out the show notes, because I’m going to link to everything in there, just go to jessicamoorhouse.com/podcast, or if you want to find the show notes for the specific episode, just go to jessicamoorhouse.com/thenumber of that episode.

If you never know what the number of an episode is, honestly, if you just go to the main podcast page on my website, you’ll be able to do a search, but you can also just DM me on Instagram and or email me and ask me, what’s that episode that you did with so-and-so?

And I will let you know, because I know everything.

I haven’t forgot a guest.

I know everything.

So just ask me.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I always find it so comforting talking to someone who is in a really good financial position, like Mary or lots of other people I’ve had on the show who are doing very well.

And them saying that they have a budget and they’re frugal.

I don’t know.

It makes me really happy.

So if you want to get into that mode, if you want to know where your spending’s going, how much you’re earning, if you’re being strategic with your money, you need a budget.

I am totally, this is something, a hill I will die on.

I think everyone needs a budget because ultimately a budget is just a spending plan.

It’s just you outlining what you want to do with your money.

And if you need help with that, I can help with that in a couple different ways.

Number one, you can find all of my budget spreadsheets for download and purchase on my website, jessicamoorhouse.com/shop.

But also, I’m currently running the first cohort of my Budgeting Together Accountability Group and it’s going amazingly and I’m having so much fun and so is everyone in it.

And if you wanted to pre-register for cohort two, it’s a three month cohort.

We get together for an hour and a half once a month at the beginning of every new month.

And so if you wanna join the second cohort because there likely is gonna be limited spots.

I don’t wanna have such a huge group.

Make sure to again, go to jessicamoorhouse.com/shop and you can pre-register and it’s gonna run from January, February and March.

So make sure to pre-register now.

You’ll also find a few other things on that page.

Number one, my Wealth Building Blueprint for Canadians course.

It’s almost four years old.

I’ve been helping hundreds of Canadians, figure out how to build wealth, how to invest in a passive way, how to get their finances together so they can have the financial future that they want.

If you want to learn more about that, there’s a link or a button that you can click on on the shop page, or you can just go to jessicamoorhouse.com/course.

And also on my shop page, there’s a link to my upcoming book that is now available for pre-order.

It is called Everything But Money, The hidden Barriers Between You and Financial Freedom.

I kind of mentioned it in this episode because it’s very relevant.

I like talking to Mary, I’m like, oh my gosh, I completely understand where you’re coming from based off what your life experience was.

It makes absolute total logical sense that you would still manage your money that way and be very careful with it.

If you want to learn more about your own money story and your relationship with money and how to heal and make a better relationship with money, because we can all fix some things, even myself, quite honestly, and you’ll find out my whole journey in the book as well.

You can pre-order now jessicamoorhouse.com/book, or you can just go on Amazon, Indigo, Barnes and Noble, any online book retailer basically is carrying my book, and you can pre-order Everything But Money.

If you do pre-order, make sure to go back to jessicamoorhouse.com/book, and put in your contact details because then you will get access to a bunch of freebies and extras that are only available to people who pre-order my book, so make sure to check that out.

That is really it for me.

Thank you so much for listening, or if you’re watching, watching on YouTube, appreciate you.

Again, if you’re listening and you did not know this was on YouTube, all of the episodes this season and last season, they’re on my YouTube channel, so go to jessicmoorhouse.com/youtube, or just Google my name in YouTube and you’ll find me, and you can find last season and this season and the video podcast.

So that’s it for me.

Thank you so much for supporting the More Money Podcast, and I’ll see you back here next week.