[Ep. 380] The Art of Reinventing Yourself with Mary Sanders

Jessica 

Welcome, Mary to the more money Podcast. I’m thrilled to have you on the show.

Mary 

Thank you so much for having me, Jessica.

Jessica 

I’m really excited. Yes, I mean, I’m looking at you right now people cannot see this, but you have a ton of metals in the background. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guest that has so much hardware.

Mary 

Yeah, it’s all from a previous life. Obviously. They were all in a box hidden away at my mom’s and then you know, COVID hit. And we all needed some hobbies. So my husband, he took them all out of the boxes, put them all out. So my office is a bit of a shrine now, but it’s good for certain conversations, good conversations.

Jessica 

Is it Do you find it? It’s a good, like, reminder and motivator to be like, Oh, remember all the things that I thought I couldn’t do? And I did.

Mary 

Right? I mean, I think for me, I never wanted to flaunt any of my success or anything like that, hence why they were in a box until I was 35 years old. It just you know, yes, I’m proud of my accomplishments, but they don’t define me every day and I have new goals in life that I don’t try look back, and oh, I was so good at that competition, you know. So I think I tried to just constantly move forward set new goals. But I think since having kids, it’s actually it’s been great having, you know, the metal shown because my daughter’s like, I want one of those. And I said, Well, you know, you got to work hard to get one of those. So it’s actually kind of open some conversations with my kids. So I think it’s actually good at this point in my life.

Jessica 

I mean, I’m sure like most little girls, myself included, I definitely was having a conversation with a friend about this actually, who she actually did do some gymnastics. But I always dreamed of being in the Olympics. And, you know, doing I mean, every kind of activity in the Olympics. I never tried a gymnastics class. I’d never ended up doing it. But I love watching the Olympics. And it’s so crazy. I’m sure I watched you when it was televised, you know, because I watched every single time it was odd, you want to kind of take us back and, and share a little bit of your origin story. So you’re a two time Canadian champion in rhythmic gymnastics, and many more. I mean, like, it’s a huge paragraph of all the things that you were able to accomplish. But what I find interesting, so you start competing on the Canadian side, then you transition to the US side. Do you want to kind of share a little bit more about how did you get started?

Mary 

Absolutely. I basically was born into gymnastics. My father was my coach. He was a diver and a trampoline. So he was very, very involved in gymnastics. He didn’t go to the Olympics, because trampoline wasn’t an Olympic sport back then. But he was, you know, a big 10 champion, went to the University of Michigan. He was American, and then met my mom in Canada. And then you know, they had my two older brothers and then myself, and my brothers didn’t have really a gymnastics bone in their body. They were really good at swimming, baseball, kind of the other, you know, more more sports like that. So I was my dad’s little gymnasts, little Olympian from day one, it was just ingrained in me from day one. So that’s kind of the only sport I knew. And yeah, being called a little Olympian at a young age, you kind of know, the path that’s set out for you and your destiny. So yeah, I just started in artistic gymnastics, which is with the bars and the beam and the floor, you know, with the great Simone Biles that everyone knows is doing. And I did that for you know, quite a few years, I was a little bit tall and flexible for, you know, an artistic gymnast. And so I had a lot of injuries at a young age. And I didn’t really get up to speed too quickly with artistic but I had some success, some metals, but I it wasn’t going to take me to the Olympics, that sport and I was in Toronto growing up in Canada, competing for Canada and so forth. But my father grew ill cancer when I was eight years old, and he passed away very quickly within six months. So you know, I lost a father or coach on my idol while in you know, six months time. And it was just around that time I was not doing very well in artistic gymnastics. So I switched to rhythmic gymnastics, which is the ribbons and the ball in the hoop. I love that. Never seen the movie, old school, you know, welfare. You know, dances around the ribbon. A little bit more complicated than that. But yes, I switch trophies make gymnastics, you know, hesitantly, I didn’t even know what the sport was. And, you know, dancing around with ribbons. I didn’t think you know, I think my father would roll over in his grave if you knew I’d switch sports. But ultimately, I made the switch and it was a much better fit for me physically and all of that. Obviously, you know, a lot of what happened in in between that was a lot of struggles financially, right. My mom had three kids to support. You know, she was a nurse. We were living in British Columbia, we moved back to Toronto. It was a real struggle. We moved yearly, we live with different family members, my hat for one and it was a really, really tough transitional time. I learned a lot about having to work hard for everything you got at that point, I had to switch sports and work hard all from ground zero again. Every time we moved, I had to switch schools every time we moved as an a new house. I had to commute more all across Toronto. And I remember talking to my mom actually just last week about this we would get up at 5am She drives me didn’t subway, I think warden in Scarborough and I would take it all the way across town to Dundas take a power nap on my friend’s couch, go all the way up to York Mills take another bus. It was just you know, growing up struggling financially and, and just working hard and all that really taught me a lot of life lessons. So that was definitely something I learned along the way. And with all that financial struggle, the Americans reached out and that’s how it all kind of happened. I was the best rhythmic gymnast in North America at the time. I’d won a bunch of international competitions and I was ahead of you know, the US girl so they He said, You know, you typically only one North American qualifies for the Olympics. So with me being number one, I was competing for Canada, the US kind of reached out and was like, Hey, we know your father. He was a great gymnast in the US. We’d love for you to follow in his footsteps compete for the US, and you know, happy to help out your mother and financially and help pay for training. international competitions. My leotards athlete funding. So the Canadian Federation at the time just wasn’t supporting rhythmic gymnasts, especially. And I had to make the really tough choice. And I switched, it could be for the US. And ultimately, I went to the Olympics in 2004, and Athens, Greece. So that’s sort of my gymnastics career lives there.

Jessica 

Yeah, I’m curious, just going back to some of like, the financial hardships, because even just thinking I know, when it comes to sports, but especially like at that kind of, like, professional level that can be expensive. And that can, you know, really, that’s probably honestly, why I never took a gymnastics class is because the money just was not there. And so, you know, I got to just play on the monkey bars in the playground instead. And so how, you know, but before you were kind of given that opportunity, that seemed kind of like life changing? Yeah. Well, how did you kind of manage?

Mary 

We didn’t manage, I mean, you know, I talked about it in my book a lot. I was raking leaves with my brothers, I was shoveling snow, just so you know, we’d have money for food, or, you know, just for anything, like we had to move all the time. And yeah, like, I don’t know how my mother did a single salary with three kids. Like, it’s just crazy, of course, and then her trying to put me through sports and my brothers to their sports. You know, I think at the time, she did so well, masking it all. Like, we never really knew how poor we were. But it was, it was a really difficult time. And, of course, I’m going to school and Hami downs and Salvation Army clothes, and everyone else in North York, just this area I went to school was quite well off. So I was always kind of the odd one out, never really fit in, I just never really felt, you know, like I was in their class, I guess, the, you know, financial class and, and then, of course, in gymnastics, I had hand me down leotards and things like that I was always the one heading up a lot of fundraising because I was the one who needed the money most to travel international competitions. So growing up very humble, in that sense, you know, just really knowing that success comes from hard work. And there’s really no shortcuts whatsoever in life. I’m super grateful for those lessons I learned early on, because every penny I make I know, I’ve worked hard for it. And I didn’t get handed any favors in life. So yeah, I mean, making that switch to the US was one of the hardest decisions of my life, I was labeled a traitor from that point on. It was something I had to do for my family not only to follow in my father’s footsteps, and I met so many people who knew him going that direction. So I feel I felt like it just opened up this new world that I didn’t even know is out there. But sometimes with great choices for yourself, means that not everyone’s gonna be happy for you. I mean, and I think that’s it. I mean, I think in life, you have to make choices that are good for you, and you understand them and you’re at peace with them, even if it doesn’t make other people happy. Definitely a lesson I learned along the way there for sure.

Jessica 

So when you’re able to make that transition to the US and I’m curious, just kind of about kind of the money side of gymnastics I you know, just like following other sports like tennis, you know, if you win certain games, you get a certain amount of prize money. How does that work? With gymnastics? Do you get a cash prize? If you get a medal or, you know, what’s the, I guess the financial incentive to do?

Mary 

Well, right. I know. I think nowadays things are a bit better, right? There’s social media, there’s endorsements. You know, you can kind of be your own publicist, right. In my day of 2004 social media wasn’t too present. So I sometimes think, Oh, what if I was me now in sport, right. But the sports evolved so much like maybe I wouldn’t even have made the Olympics but basically, to make money as a rhythmic gymnasts, right. There’s Grand Prix competition. So you could go and if you, you know, you get on the podium. It’s a Grand Prix competition, you get an amount, but that money often goes to your coach to your next competition. It doesn’t really go to you like we’re definitely not paid like a tennis US Open. Yeah, like, definitely not. You know, I think artistic gymnastics at the small bowels of the sport and all those other amazing gymnasts, very well deserved with their endorsements and all their partnerships, because they’re top of the podium and have been for many, many years. Rhythmic gymnastics, on the other hand, is an Eastern European dominated sport. So we had to fight for every place we had and being top 10 was the goal, right? We weren’t really ever expecting to be on a podium. So that’s where the struggle comes for athletes. Not just for think gymnasts, but athletes in sports that aren’t so well known and And you know, if your country hasn’t been on top of the podium for a while, they struggle, because the funding is not there, because the results aren’t there. But then how do you get to the top of the podium without the funding?

Jessica 

Yeah, you need to have the money. I’ve seen so many documentaries about sports. And it really is like, you have an edge. If you have funding, and a lot of people who are so talented, they just don’t get that those opportunities or you know, if you come from money, it’s a lot easier to to kind of accelerate, things like that. So what were you able to do to kind of Yeah, keep things moving along, like was it really like, once you got to the Olympics, things really took a big change.

Mary 

So definitely, I was a two time Canadian champion, two time American champion. So things I started to improve, you know, it’s terrible. But like, I, when I switched to me, for the US, I got in way better shape. I was climbing in the rankings much quicker. I was traveling the world without a care in the world that it was draining my mom’s bank account, they would put me up at the Lake Placid Olympic Training Center, or the Colorado Olympic Training Center, you’re training around other athletes all going through what you’re going through, as he had like, such a great emotional support. Of course, everything improved, you know, money does make things better. And it makes things easier, fortunately, even in sport. So once I started receiving the funding, I could then really focus my efforts on my routines on the goal. I didn’t have to be like, Well, how could I go make a few extra dollars to help my mom, like when I’m exhausted all my spare time, you know, you’re able to focus on on the goal at hand. And I was so blessed to have that opportunity two years before the Olympics, just to be able to focus on my sport. And I graduated from high school a year before the Olympics. So I was just narrowed in and that’s all I had to focus on. Pressure was really for my mom, and you know, I could sleep better at night.

Jessica 

Yeah. And so once you did the Olympics, I Well, I also have just curious, like, once you kind of reached that level, you know, what’s next? I always kind of wonder, it’s like, I’m sure people are like, so are you going to your next Olympics? You’re like, I was just there, like, Give me a break? Or, you know, how do you determine your kind of, because I guess every sport, especially gymnastics that’s so hard on your body, and has kind of a certain time that you can do it in your life and a certain point that you just can’t it’s maybe just not healthy for your body. So were you starting to kind of think about that while you were in it is, I have this many years to reach this height. And then I have to figure out what’s next.

Mary 

The life of a gymnast, at least in my day, especially a rhythmic gymnast is short, right? I was 18 when I competed at the Olympics, and I turned 19. The day I competed. And that was the peak of my career. And that was it. There was no thought in my mind, I’d stick around for another four years, none whatsoever. The final year leading up to the Olympics, for me was extremely difficult. I was in Bulgaria training alone, not with a lot of teammates or with teammates even speak English. And I think just I think every professional athlete or an Olympic athlete leading up to that peak of their career, it’s just exhausted mentally and physically, which I was. And I just I knew that was it. I wanted to compete at the Olympics. And now my routines. I wasn’t competing for the podium. It was just very clear. I finished 15th of the Olympics. I was actually ninth I think going into the Olympics, but you know, things happen, politics, all that good stuff. But yeah, like I just wanted to have a great competition and finish on a high note. And that was my goal. And that’s what happened. I competed in Athens. My mom came to watch me it was one of her first competitions International, and she could come to my uncle and I bought her tickets. So that was super special. And I was so done after that. Yeah. My last routine, I hit four, four routines, and I just hit the biggest fist pump because I was like, Thank God, thanks. So my dad looking down on me, I accomplished that little Olympian goal, and I’m done. Right. And I was just gonna go be normal. I was gonna go do what everyone tells you to do go to university, I got accepted to Western University in London. I was going to go live with one of my friends and do a general arts degree and figure out what I was going to do with my life later. I just want to be normal. And like eat a burger. Yeah. But yeah, so I left gymnastics right there in Athens. That was it. But then USA Gymnastics approached me for it’s kind of like a stars on ice but it’s called USA Gymnastics tour. So you go on tour for three months, you’re a rock star and you make money nice. You know you’re Kate and go to Maui per show. So that was the first sort of dose making good money for me and and I just knew I wanted more of it. It you know, it helped me buy my first investment property. And then while I was on that tour, Cirque du Soleil scouted me. And that yeah, they actually could watch me compete. Even Athens at the Olympics and I didn’t even know. And then they came to my tour took me to go see the show in Vegas called Oh, which is the water show. It’s like unbelievable. And I saw the show. And then when it was done, I just looked at the, you know, the the recruiter, I said, Alright, where do I sign? So right then in there while I was on this gymnastics tour, I signed up for Cirque du Soleil for the next two and a half years and ran away to the circus.

Jessica 

Amazing.

Mary 

I didn’t go to university, I didn’t become normal. I just ran away to the circus. Yes.

Jessica 

I mean, that sounds way more fun than going to university. Yeah, exactly.

Mary 

And I’m so grateful for it. Because I’ve seen a lot of athletes really struggle, like coming off the Olympic stage coming off, like, not even the Olympic stage, like the world champion stage, like, the highest level of your sport. And then what do you do next, because that’s all you focused on your whole life.

Jessica 

And I guess there’s no one to really support you. Because it’s like, you’re not involved anymore. So you know, we’re on to the next person.

Mary 

That’s right. And you you lose your sense of worth your identity. I’ve seen it so many times. And I had a lot of that throughout my career, I think I was lucky to go into Cirque du Soleil. And it was just less of a shock, I think to the system, I was still physical using my body performing, you get that adrenaline. So I had that for about the next 10 years of my life touring with Cirque du Solei. So that was really great. I went on to create some solo acts and tour Europe and it was amazing. The one thing I didn’t love was the repetition, right? The exact same show every single day. It just felt very much the ground like the Groundhog Day, I’d live my whole life as a gymnast. Same routines every day, same thing to eat every day. So I love Cirque du Solei. I think it’s an incredible platform for athletes to transition into after sport. I just knew I didn’t want to be like 75 and a clap. So I had to figure out something to do.

Jessica 

And how were you able to do that? Because again, it’s the you know, there’s such a connection or, you know, it seems like a very natural transition from gymnastics to Cirque du Soleil. You’re like, Oh, great. I don’t really have to learn any new skill. I mean, sure, you had to learn new skills, but you’re like, No, I already know kind of how to do lots of this. Once that’s over, there’s not really too many places you can go with, you know, they’re like we’re looking for your exact skill set. So what were what were your you know, kind of thoughts on like, oh, shoot now what? Exactly

Mary 

like, that was my biggest fear. I’m just like, I did the Olympics. Now cert. Why do I feel like constantly start over in my life, right? Every single part of my life and just constantly starting over to like Ground Zero artistic to rhythmic to the Olympics to surf. It’s just like always starting back at Ground Zero. Surf was great at the time, they had an education program that paid 50% of your schooling. So if you were to study online, they’d pay for half of it. So you know, I started ditching the after parties and things like that. And I would just go back to my hotel room, and I was studying Public Relations online at the time. Yeah, so I got a PR certificate. So that was great. And it really helped me after circ, had to do a bunch of desk jobs. I worked in recruitment, and I was just trying to build a resume outside of what my physical body would do. So that’s what I kind of did. I just bounced around with desk jobs here and there, then I’d like fly to Dubai and do a special event for Cirque come back, have to get a new job because I just left for a week and a new job anymore. So I bounced around a lot just with desk jobs. And it was a lonely time, I’d say because I was so miserable.

Jessica 

And just like coming down from such a like hi, like doing these things that people can only imagine doing and then you’re just working a desk job. And just like people have no idea. You know, you’re like I used to be I was in the Olympics.

Mary 

Yeah, and it doesn’t matter. Like, I wasn’t making good money, like, but I was used to making on tour bus show. And you know, like I was making very good money in my early 20s. Then in my late 20s, it’s having to turn my career around to like the more admin and, and really build like, the normal career and it was just shocking. Like, it was depressing. I was not motivated. It was a really tough time. And again, yeah, no one cares. If you went to the Olympics, no one cares if you’re in Cirque, it’s where you are now. And so I just had to work really hard and kind of climb my way up and figure out what was next

Jessica 

Did you find it difficult to kind of shift how you manage money because you know, the income just kind of dropped compared to your early 20s. And how did you and well I’m even curious, like being exposed to like a really big paycheck in your early 20s Because usually get people into trouble they just spend it like how did you know what to do how to manage it? Was it largely because of you know, the upbringing you had not knowing the value of a dollar.

Mary 

I think how I was raised, not having a lot of money and valuing every penny I had taught me so much that really spilled into my 20s because when I was starting out a circus delay making money or on the gymnastics tours, I was saving every penny I wasn’t blowing in a lot of acrobats. You know, we do six weeks of shows have one week off, go to the next city. And now we got a fly all inclusive, go somewhere in party for the week, come back and blown like three weeks of pay. Yeah. And I would never do that I would just go to the next city work on my schooling, because cert paid my hotel, they pay if my food, they pay everything, you’re literally just the living and eating for free and working for them. So it’s an amazing opportunity to save money. And I think just because of how I was raised, that was the mentality I had, I was not going to blow my previous week’s paycheck. No way. I just like to see the numbers growing in my bank account. So that was definitely a priority. I then switching from that world of everything’s paid for, like, I had no mortgage, I had no food bills, like it was crazy. And then I went into the normal world. And I’m paying rent and I’m having to grocery shop, like what is this? And like, it sounds bizarre, but like having to grocery shop. I just like couldn’t get over it and cook. And yeah, like even prices for groceries. I just didn’t understand in my early 20s. So it was a huge adjustment. And I hated it. I just wanted to get back to making a lot of money. Yeah. And then it’s funny enough, I was working in a recruitment job recruiting high level executives for CEOs and this that I had supported a lot of executives at Cirque du Soleil. And so it was very fitting was going well. And I saw this job posting, it was just super vague. Didn’t even know the company was I was like, What is this? So I sent my own resume just to get oh, you’re

Jessica 

You’re allowed to do that? Or?

Mary 

I did. I mean I did anyway. Yeah, um, so then they called me. And I had that was kind of the start of another stage in my life. I just took a leap of faith and, and somehow I got a call for an EA job. So that’s kind of where I am at now. And then working in entertainment in that. Yeah, yeah.

Jessica 

Tell me a little bit about your new career. Because again, I feel like this is, you know, connected to kind of, you know, again, your roots and circuit and being an entertainer. But now you’re kind of on the other side of it. What, you know, what, what is your new role entail? And how did you find that a lot of the skills that you got, you know, from your past gymnasts and Cirque have really come in handy, just kind of a weird, full circle that you know, I mean, I’m the same way I went to film school, and I’m doing something completely different. But there’s lots of bits and pieces. You’re like, oh, I learned that my past life. And this is really handy now. Oh, absolutely.

Mary 

I think it’s amazing how you can have so many different stages of your life. However, they all kind of, were meant to be part of your journey and come together in the end. So yeah, I recruited myself into working for Robert Herjavec from Shark Tank, and Dragon Stan. And I actually I’d never watched the show, they no idea who he was. didn’t really care, to be honest. It was a paying job. And yeah, I know, I’ve been working for him for 10 years, and traveling the world working very hard. I started out at CES EA. And now I’m the VP of entertainment for herget adventures, entertainment and pictures. So we do everything we do. Shark Tank Dragon’s Den, creative direction, content creation, just basically everything in entertainment. And it’s funny because I’ll be at an event with Robert and I kind of know everyone and he’ll be like, who are you? Who are you like how do you know these people? And it’s funny, it’s because all my worlds are colliding. Right all my production stage world at cirques colliding or, you know, athletes like when we were on Dancing with the Stars when Robert was on that and he met his wife, Kim, I knew half the stars on the show, because a lot of them or Jim miss or red foo, I’d performed with red foo on my tour. It just kind of knew everyone and he’s still just he could never get over. Like, how do you know these people? Yeah, you’re, you’re you’re like, you work for me. Anyway. So I think it’s just funny how life works out and it just comes full circle all the time. And yeah, I think forever, we’re on a path and we’re just like, What am I doing? Like, I think everything’s just meant to be. We just got to trust the process.

Jessica 

Now, you know, especially with all your experience now, when you do look at maybe aspiring athletes or even younger athletes. Can you see especially because you mentioned like you handling, you know, content creation and just the entertainment side of things. What are some things that young people should be taking these opportunities that you know, you’re like, I didn’t have that opportunity. Social media was not around and man if I did, I wouldn’t be doing this.

Mary 

So I’m not sure like. I don’t know if like social media would have played such a big It impacted my life. I mean, it definitely does now, and I think it can really be overwhelming and a little bit overpowering just the amount of impact social media has. I think I had to work extra hard for any success or, or any direction, I was gonna have to work extra hard to get there. But I do think for, you know, athletes growing up today, I just, you know, I think it’s so important your sport, but it’s also so important to look for the future and what you want to do after sport, like what are your interests, because we can become so one sided when we’re in sport and very competitive. And that’s what I see with athletes today, which I think’s amazing. Like, they’re involved in so many other things, but their sport, and so it’s very good for mental health. And it’s very good just for motivation that they have other passions and other interests and other means of support, besides just their gymnastics career or anything like that. I think that’s what was lacking for me. And in my career, I was so focused, that was the only thing going on in my life. So it can just be like overwhelming and overpowering. So I do think that it’s really important for athletes today to have other interests and kind of know where they’re gonna go after sport, or at least have an idea of an interest they like and can sort of explore that as their agenda. So it’s not such a cold turkey transition, right after, yeah, because it took me my entire 20s to figure out kind of what was next, I did serve. And then I did a bunch of other jobs. And then I started in my current role now at 29, turning 30. So, you know, it’s been a real transition. But it took a little while to get there and a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of heartbreaks, and figuring out who I was, like, think as an athlete, sometimes you just don’t even know yourself. You’re only you’re marrying the gymnast, that’s all you know, you don’t actually know who you are. And I think we have to be patient with ourselves and let ourselves mess up or go on the wrong path and and get back to the straight and narrow. But yeah, I think I think yeah, that’s important. It just have other interests beyond your sport.

Jessica 

Did you find it was difficult transitioning from such a kind of unique workplace in your past life to corporate kind of office life? Because even you know, for me just going transitioning from university to like, you know, the nine to five office like, that was like, kind of shocking, like, oh, is this how, you know, because I used to only just like work retail part time jobs. And that was kind of shocking, just how to navigate that. Was that kind of your experience as well.

Mary 

It was so hard. I started working with Robert in 2015. And I was still doing little gigs on the side because again, I like to make money and I never want to rely on anyone for money and never want to go through my mom went through with us. So money has always been a huge drive for me. So I would never just do one job. I had always had multiple sources of income throughout my life. You know, even as a kid like raking, snow plowing and like 20 pounds. But yeah, so I think multiple sources of income always kept me going. So even working with Robert, I still was doing one off little gigs for circa like freelance jobs on the side. So as I was working for Robert, USA Gymnastics as a creative director there, 2016 posts Olympic tour and performative. And Robert, let me do it. So I had to do that tour and work for Robert at the same time. So I worked like 20 hours a day. It was absolutely nuts. Yeah. I don’t recommend that to anyone. But you know, I made a lot of money. And I was happy that I bought my my dream condo. So that was really exciting for me. Yeah. So it was so nice. Robert, let me do it. But I had a near death fall on the tour. Oh, yeah.

Jessica 

We never really talked about injuries. That’s usually the thing. Or whenever you think about sports, they think about like, you know, football players, and they’re like, oh, my gosh, this is my ticket out of my small town couldn’t make it and then their first season they get injured. And that’s it.

Mary 

Yeah, it’s awful. And obviously, I was out of shape because I’ve been working for Robert for a year. And I’m like going on this tour and creating a two and a half hour library and a show 40 state tour across all of America. And I’m performing it. I’m designing the costumes. I’m picking the music, everything. So it was a huge undertaking, but loved it. But yeah, I was doing a dress rehearsal. I was flying up in the silks, which is like, you know, if you’ve seen a Cirque show, it’s like the curtain that hangs. So I was flying in the silk and I was doing this skill where I slide down and then catch myself in the splits with no hands. And I was directing the winch operator upside down. I was being a director while performing which you can’t do that. To do one or the other, like perform or be a director and I was doing both and I fell 20 to 25 feet on my head. Upside down. No safety, nothing. And yeah, I just remember laying there laying like looking up and then just lots of faces, right? They come it’s on you and I mean, I had a massive concussion to talk about a lot. I have my book, I hid it from everyone because you know, that’s what you do. And you’re a director and you gotta be professional. And I couldn’t see my left eye for quite some time. And, yeah, so at that moment, I was like, I think I’m good to retire from.

Jessica 

Now, I might die.

Mary 

I think it took, unfortunately, something like that happening to me to realize, you know, what, if I’m not gonna give this my 100%, like anything in life, you have to give 100% to be successful. I, it’s time to like, hang up my flying equipment. So that was the dress rehearsal. And I had to get through 40 shows and do a very successful tour, which we did and went on to, you know, it was one of the most successful tours of USA Gymnastics history. After that last show, I just, you know, was like, Thank God, and this is it, I hung up my early equipment for good, went back to working with Robert and end of 2016 2017, I never look back to performing, I think, you know, life’s full of these opportunities, that give you that opportunity to close that door, and move on to the next. And we like to open it and peek sometimes. But you have to just continue moving forward, you know, constant forward momentum. And I was kind of just one foot in one foot out. And that was the moment where I knew I had to just retire. And I was totally happy to be in the corporate world and sit at my desk every day.

Jessica 

And you mentioned this earlier that and I mean, I think everyone every level of their job, kind of struggles with this, but that, you know, when you were a gymnast, when you were in circuit, it was part of your identity, and you know, be having to close that door on that life is a big shift to your identity. How was that? Because I know a lot of people even just working nine to five, you know, when I used to, that was part of my identity, I was, you know, worked at this job. This is my role. This was the company. And when a quit, it was really hard for me to figure out who wait, who am I without that? So how were you able to kind of overcome that and maybe even make a disconnect between I am not my job, you know, this is just part of me.

Mary 

It’s it’s very hard to figure out your identity when you’ve been so good at one thing, or you really like wowed in one area, to close it and having to start over again and move on. It’s scary. It’s it’s a huge risk. But I don’t think we we achieve our potential by not challenging ourselves and not constantly pushing forward for that next accomplishment. grader would say Olympics cool. 20 years, no one cares. Soa, like, Yeah, I’m not on stage anymore. That’s great. And I think even now, like, you know, Robertson amazing person to work for, it’s incredible. But I have my own life. I got remarried, and my two kids now. And they’re my priority, especially my kids, you know, our jobs can be so over consuming. Only recently after I wrote my book and all this stuff, and done a lot of passion projects for myself, that I’m like, That’s stressful, and what is going on today with this meeting, but it’s kind of like, that’s my job. I’m gonna leave that there. And I’m just gonna go be present with my kids right now, obviously, it’s easier said than done. But I do struggle with that really pulling myself away from my career and my personal life. But it’s so important to fill the tank, my mom always says this, I was getting really burnt out and really stress. And it’s because all I was doing was working 24/7 for someone else. And I wasn’t doing anything for myself, right. I wasn’t making money on the side for myself that I always was doing in my previous life. And I was only doing the one job focusing on that. And we can’t you have to focus on yourself, even one hour a day, you have to do something for yourself for one hour. And that can be anything, it doesn’t have to make you money, it just has to fill your tank, whatever that is. You have to do it every day and prioritize yourself. And that’s what I’m trying. I’ve been getting better at that. COVID.

Jessica 

Yeah, I mean, I think yeah, COVID kind of messed a lot of people up where it’s like, well, all there is to do is work. I’ll just open my laptop and just, you know, put in a few more hours. But no, I think that’s such an important message. And I like that the filling up your tank, because I think especially just like in our culture, which is just really promoted that you know, hustle, hustle hustle for so long. I think a lot of us have hustled for a long time, then we’re like we we’ve lost track of why we’re even doing it. We’re just on autopilot. And then when you have like a maybe a life altering moment, or just have finally some space to think then you can kind of step back you’re like whoa, where am I and who am I and what am I doing this for? Right? Absolutely.

Mary 

And I had those moments kind of throughout all my career like in gymnastics, I’m just like, oh my god, when’s this gonna end and same thing as an insert. It’s like, same show, you’re just showing up every day, do the same thing every day. You didn’t same thing and then one day you have to stop and be like, hold on a second. I’m just going through the grind. Like why am I doing this? And that’s when you make decisions to close that door and move on to the next one. I I love my job now because it’s ever evolving. It’s never the same every day. But I wrote a book when I’m doing all these other projects on the side. I’m doing little things here and there that, you know, will get me places that my day job won’t. Yeah, right. And I think, yeah, we have to believe in ourselves. Because no one else well, if you don’t push yourself, you have to be your biggest fan. And whatever that goal is, if you like painting, if you like working out, if whatever, you know, I think we just really have to like, yes, we have to pay our bills, yes, with them against me. And you know, with the life we’re supposed to live, but everyone has a dream. And every one has a goal, and hope, we have to hope for something. If you’re not hoping for what’s next, then we’re really being stagnant. And I think in our daily lives. Absolutely.

Jessica 

Now, the last thing I just want to touch on because I forgot to ask is, I think earlier, you mentioned that, you know, when you started making money in your early 20s, that you bought your first rental property, and just kind of going back to this idea of you were really focused on I never want to be in a position like my mom. And growing up, I want to do better for me, and also my family. So what have you been able to kind of set up in your life and your family to reach that level of financial security? And also maybe, you know, what are some things that you want to show your kids so they can kind of take those lessons with them when they grow up?

Mary 

Right? I think what’s really important for me is that everything I have achieved, or I have is I worked for it. I was never handed $1 in my life. So when I did go on that first tour, and I think I saved 25 grand or something, I was able to put down a deposit for my first rental townhouse in Mississauga, here in Toronto. So that was a huge accomplishment for me. And I held on to that rental for about 10 years. And so that was kind of a good step in the right direction. I love property. I’m not great at the stocks, and I created all of that with property. I understand it’s physical i That’s the one investment strategy that I’ve always believed in. And it’s really worked for me. So I had a townhouse. So then I bought my mom a condo, because she was really struggling and was going through a second marriage at the time. I bought her a condo, and then I was on tour. And then I bought myself a condo downtown. Yeah. And then what’s really helped me is refinancing those properties getting to the next stage. So I’ve refinanced I think that condo three or four times now, but it’s gotten me to my forever home now that I’m in with my kids. And I’ve able to refinance, again, get a cottage with Sega, and I’ve just been very blessed in the real estate world. And it’s a risk I’m willing to take, I think everyone has a certain like risk threshold, which is totally, you know, your, your professional at that. But, you know, my husband’s all into stocks and all this stuff. And I’m like, That’s too much risk for me. I don’t, I can’t just hope and pray it’s a good day on the stock market. Like, I can’t do that. But I can buy a house tomorrow, no problem. So I think everyone just kind of has their, you know, investment professional. So that’s what’s really helped me and I wonder if it’s because I moved all the time as a young age, that I just want to buy as many properties as possible. So if one fails, I’m always gonna have a home like, I don’t know if subconsciously,

Jessica 

dad, so definitely, there’s some stuff from your childhood that’s like, I need stability. So I’m gonna buy property 100% That makes sense.

Mary 

I just realized that on this podcast just totally helped me see that. Thank you. Like, why don’t keep buying homes? Therapeutic? But yeah, so that I think, and, and again, I’m buying all these places with my own money. And I think that’s something I want to teach my kids, you know, you work hard for what you have, like, I will help you, I will support you and anything you want to do. But you have to work hard for your own goals. I’m not going to hand you anything.

Jessica 

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, as I can clearly see with all your metals, it’s, it’s it. And also you get that really great sense of accomplishment, and you know, value within yourself, which I think is, you know, almost priceless. So you

Mary 

can’t teach, you can’t teach certain things. Some things are just learned. Right?

Jessica 

Yeah, you have to go through them. You’ve experienced them and, and take them with you. Well, I’m so you know, it was such a pleasure having you on the show. And again, you do have a book that I think everyone should check out just to get more details. Where can more people find information about your book nine lives by 35. It’s available wherever books are sold. Great. And where can people I guess follow you if they want to just follow you on Instagram or your website? Yeah, absolutely.

Mary 

I’m on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, definitely. They’re happy to, you know if I can help anyone in their life, I think that’s part of why I wrote my book. I say, you know, it’s all part of a journey and we all have our own story and journey and if I can help One person reading my book just to kind of help them find that next path or reinvent their life. I’m just given that encouragement. All I’m all yours to help. Yeah.

Jessica 

And as you’ve proven, it’s, you know, life is long, and you’re gonna reinvent yourself a few times, and that’s okay.

Mary 

It is okay. Even if no one agrees, or no one likes it, do it for you.

Jessica 

Exactly, exactly. Well, thank you so much, Mary, for taking the time. It was a pleasure having you on.

Mary

Thank you so much, Jessica.